Obama to Stephen Colbert: How'd Your Convention Speech Go?
Friday, June 2, 2006
Printable FormatFOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE
Contact: Tommy Vietor, (202) 228-5511
Date: June 2, 2006
Obama to Stephen Colbert: How'd Your Convention Speech Go?
No, Really...I Must Have Missed It...Was it Good?
WASHINGTON - U.S. Senator Barack Obama (D-IL) Tuesday released the following statement in response to the news that Stephen Colbert will speak at the 2006 Knox College commencement:
"Stephen, Congratulations on being asked to speak at the 2006 Knox College Commencement. This is an enormous honor and on behalf of the people of Illinois, I'd like to welcome you to our state. As you know, I was invited to speak at Knox after my keynote address at the 2004 Democratic National Convention and subsequent election to the United States Senate. Your convention speech must also have gone really well to have been invited. It's weird that I didn't read about it somewhere.
"Before you deliver your remarks in front of literally millions fewer people than you would at say, a nationally televised political convention, I'd like to offer you a few words of advice. First, I know you're fond of your Peabody Awards, whatever those are, but I'd recommend not bringing them. The students at Knox are down to earth and not impressed by materials possessions like my Grammy Award for Best Spoken Word Album.
"Second, use hand sanitizer after the Pumphandle. Lots of germs there. I cannot stress this enough.
"And finally, don't forget to bring the Truth. I'd recommend putting it in your carry-on bag rather than in your checked luggage. O'Hare Airport is notoriously unreliable.
"To the Knox College class of 2006, I'm sorry I won't get to speak with you this year, but congratulations and best of luck. You make us all proud."
Note: This release is completely tongue- in-cheek - except of course for the part about the graduates making us all proud. They do. Colbert has had so much fun with members of Congress on his show that we decided it was our turn.